Dear GhanaWeb,

Nine years of marriage, three beautiful children, a house full of responsibilities, bills that never stop compiling, and a family we've worked hard to build together. If someone asked me what could threaten all of that, I'd never have guessed it would be this.

Ironically, my wife never even wanted oral sex when we were dating or during the early years of our marriage. I was actually the one who introduced it.

Our intimate life had started feeling predictable, so I searched for ways to bring back the excitement. Everything I read suggested trying new things, and after a lot of convincing, she finally agreed.

If I could go back in time, I honestly don't think I'd ever bring it up. Now it's become the biggest issue in our marriage.

The moment our kids leave the house, she starts calling for me. Instead of looking forward to spending time alone together, I find myself dreading it because I already know where the conversation is headed.

Some days, I even delay going home just to avoid another argument.

The biggest problem is that she always wants more.

No matter how many times I agree, she never seems satisfied. Eventually, I got tired, frustrated, and told her I wasn't going to do it anymore.

That's when everything changed. My wife told me I either start doing it again or we should get a divorce.

I was completely shocked. How does a marriage survive nearly a decade, raise three children, overcome life's challenges, and suddenly end because of something that wasn't even part of our relationship in the beginning?

She says I'm denying her something that makes her feel happy and fulfilled. I feel she's demanding something I'm no longer comfortable doing. Neither of us is willing to back down, and the tension in our home is getting worse every day.

I love my wife, and I don't want our marriage to fall apart. But I also don't believe I should be forced into doing something I no longer want to do just to keep the peace.

So now I'm left wondering: Am I being selfish for refusing, or is she expecting too much by making this an ultimatum after everything we've built together?

What would you do if you were in my shoes? I need your advice, please!


FG/EB


Transitions serves over 2,000 direct and indirect clients weekly - MD