Dear GhanaWeb,

I’m a 43-year-old woman and my husband and I were married for six beautiful years, blessed with two amazing children. Although we weren't wealthy, he made sure I would never be helpless. He bought me a shop, supported me through my degree, and celebrated my promotion at work.

Just one week after that promotion, my whole world came crashing down. My husband died in 2014 after being poisoned. Losing him felt like losing the ground beneath my feet, but I had two little people depending on me, so I had no choice but to keep going.

I raised my children alone. Every school fee, every meal, every uniform, every sacrifice. It wasn't easy, but I was proud that my children lacked nothing essential.

Years later, I met the man who is now my husband. He was divorced, 47 years old, and had four children of his own. I believed we could build a blended family where all six children would feel loved. We've now been married for three years.

My children are now 18 and just out of senior high school, while two of his children are in university. Throughout our marriage, my husband has never contributed even GH₵10 towards my children's education or welfare. Not once. To be fair, before marriage I never expected him to, but after we became husband and wife, I thought things would change.

Meanwhile, I have embraced his children as if they were my own. I cook for everyone, wash clothes, clean rooms, give them spending money, take all the children out together, and I've even bought one of them a phone. I don't separate them because I believe love shouldn't be divided. But the same kindness is never shown to my children.

They can't approach their stepfather comfortably because he barely speaks to them. He has never offered them money, never shown interest in their lives, and never treated them like part of his family. His own children drive his car freely, but mine aren't even allowed to learn with it.

One day, he actually told me that if my children need money, they are old enough to get boyfriends.

Every day I watch my children quietly endure feeling unwanted in the house they also call home. They don't cause trouble. In fact, they're the most disciplined children in the house and willingly do most of the chores without complaining.

Recently, my daughter looked at me and said something I never imagined hearing. "Mum, I think you should leave this marriage so we can go back to living alone." I couldn't even argue with her because, deep down, I've been thinking the same thing.

I've spoken to my husband countless times. When I ask why he can't support them financially in any small way, he reminds me that he has four children while I only have two, so he can't help.

I'm exhausted. I'm disappointed. I cry almost every day because I feel like I failed my children by bringing them into an environment where they feel invisible.

Am I expecting too much from my husband, or is it time to walk away from a marriage where my children and I have never truly felt like family? What do I do now?


FG/EB


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