Dear GhanaWeb,

My wife and I have been married for less than four months, and she's currently about four months pregnant.

Before we got married, I made a terrible mistake. I met up with my ex, we had sex one last time, and she got pregnant.

We were no longer in a relationship. It was simply a foolish decision that ended with an unexpected pregnancy.

When my ex found out I was getting married, she refused to terminate the pregnancy.

She said she deserved to have a child too. I accepted that I would take responsibility for my child, but another problem started.

Because she knew I wanted to keep everything from my wife, she constantly threatened to expose me unless I kept giving her money.

It became emotional and financial blackmail, and I got tired of living in fear.

Eventually, I decided to tell my wife the truth. My intention was not to avoid responsibility because I had already decided I would take care of my child.

I wanted us to be honest with each other and face the situation together instead of allowing my ex to keep controlling me.

Her response completely shocked me.

She calmly told me that the baby she's carrying isn't mine. According to her, she also slept with an ex before our wedding and had been trying to find the right time to tell me.

She then said that since I had gotten another woman pregnant, we are even.

At first, I thought she only said it because she was hurt and wanted me to feel the same pain I had caused her. I decided not to argue. I stayed calm and waited, hoping she would eventually tell me she only said it out of anger. But it has now been three weeks.

She hasn't taken back what she said. She hasn't explained herself or acted like someone who made up a story to hurt me. She's simply carrying on with life while I'm lying awake every night wondering whether the child she's carrying is really mine.

I've tried to control myself because I know I'm not innocent. I betrayed her first, and I have to live with the consequences of my actions. I will take responsibility for the child I fathered with my ex.

If my wife is truly pregnant for another man, I don't believe I can raise another man's child or continue in a marriage built on that reality.

If what she told me is true, then I believe the child's father should also take responsibility.

At this point, I'm seriously considering finding out the truth because I can't continue living with this uncertainty.

I don't know whether she's punishing me with silence or whether she genuinely confessed something that will change our marriage forever.

If you were in my position, would you insist on finding out the truth immediately, even if it means the marriage could end, or would you keep trying to save the relationship first? I need your suggestions, please.

FG/EB

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