Dear GhanaWeb,

I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with my husband, and I don’t know who else to talk to.

Before we got married last year, we never had sex. He is a committed Christian, a youth pastor, and the church treasurer.

Throughout our nine-month courtship, he constantly reminded me that we should preserve ourselves for marriage so we could enjoy intimacy without guilt.

At one point, I even wondered if he had a medical issue because of how determined he was to avoid sex. To reassure me, he invited me over one day, hugged and kissed me briefly, and assured me everything was fine. That moment convinced me I had found the right man, someone who respected God and valued self-control.

We got married in June last year. Ironically, we were too exhausted to consummate the marriage on our wedding night. The following day, after our thanksgiving service, we returned to the hotel.

I wanted to freshen up first, but he stopped me and said he wanted us to be intimate before I showered because, according to him, he preferred me “dirty.” At first, I thought it was just a one-time thing, but it wasn’t.

Almost every time we’ve been intimate since then, he insists I shouldn’t bathe first. He even discourages me from shaving, constantly reminding me not to. He prefers intimacy after we’ve been exercising, sweating, returning from work, or at times when I feel least comfortable. Instead of looking forward to being close to my husband, I now dread it.

I’ve struggled with recurring infections several times since we got married, yet nothing seems to change. Even when I’m uncomfortable or trying to recover, he doesn’t seem to understand why I’m worried. I’ve explained how I feel, but he insists that’s simply what he likes.

As a result, I’ve stopped enjoying intimacy completely. Sometimes I insist on bathing first, and when I do, we can go for weeks or even months without being intimate because he refuses.

We’re still newly married. We don’t have children yet, and I’m not pregnant. I genuinely love my husband, but this issue is beginning to affect how I feel about our marriage.

How do I get my husband to understand that intimacy should be enjoyable and comfortable for both of us without hurting his feelings or creating more distance between us?


FG/EB


Accra Floods: Alogboshie residents point fingers at government and contractor


Accra Floods: Achimota residents left devastated as homes and businesses go under